Take A Crappy

Take a moment...clear your head...
Imagine the worst possible morning full of everything crappy that could go wrong

...now delete that
Now imagine the same concept again but this time substitute all the crappy things for abstract but equally crappy, crappy things that you hadn't thought to think of before
And then add some light crap in the afternoon and maybe a reprimand.
Well now that you've just recapped my day in your head, I don't have to tell you how it went.

Just for example sake, I will at least tell you of one of the things from today that was particularly awful. It was item number two in the chronological sense. I was laying in bed thinking and it occured to me that I should send my friend, who was getting married this Saturday, a text. We have know each other for years and she is a good friend even though I've not seen her terribly often in the last year. We still keep in touch, though and so I was only too delighted to be invited to her wedding. She sent the invitation much earlier in the year and as such I had to remind myself a few times that it was happening so I could request the day off from work. The time came to request, but I missed the cutoff but wasn't hugely worried because I would either have the friday or the saturday off naturally and could potentially swap shifts with someone if it didn't line up the way I wanted. Anyhow of course when the schedule dropped last week I was scheduled on the Saturday. No worries though, I have since found someone to swap with and its going to work out fine. I even grabbed one of my nice double breasted suits when I stopped at home-home this past Monday. Back to this text though. I reached for my phone this morning and typed out "Hey hey hey, 3 more days!" just to reaffirm that I had not forgotten and would be there with bells on. I can imagine she's excited or nervous or whatever girls are when they are soon to be wed. I even thought to myself "heh that even rhymes" ...I'm so funny.

Anyhow, I set my phone down and all of a sudden cant remember what time the wedding is. Where did I put the invitation? Ah yes here it is right under my laptop. My smug grin abruptly turned to horror when I read the card closely and found that the wedding had taken place this past Saturday and I had pulled a total No Call No Show.  They've been married for like 5 days now and I feel like a total loser....total.  Who does that?! who gets the date wrong to a wedding and then requests time off for that wrong date and sends a clearly hilarious confirmation text which really should be be a "omg omg I'm soo sorry. I can't believe I missed your wedding" text....which is what I sent right after.  They won't, of course, get those texts until after they return from the honeymoon but that justs means I'll get to relive the utter embarassment yet again in another week.  So glad I wasn't bringing a date with me as that would be even more awful to explain when I realized.

Good thing I have Saturday off now so I can do....nothing?

(yes I realize that that was a crappy ending, but you're just gonna have to deal with that...cause really you don't have any other options)

Sarah who?

Know how you go into a movie thinking "This is going to be great. I've heard such good things about it" and you leave thinking, "Maybe they have multiple versions of this film, and I somehow got the sucky one"

Ya sooo......
Last night I started watching my latest Netflix hardcopy: Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  I managed to fall asleep about a third of the way into it and found myself thinking.....after i woke up.....that I should probably wake up a little earlier than usual and finish it so that I could put it back in the mail as soon as possible. Really I could have just skipped the part where I watched it altogether, but I like to get a nice dose of things before I write them off.  Initially I was enthused because I was unaware of who all were starring in the movie. Sarah was played by this hot blonde that I saw a few times on Heroes and the hotel girl was the one chick from That 70's Show that also does the voice of Meg Griffin on Family Guy(she looks quite nice in this movie) and of course Jason Segel from How I Met Your Mother. My delight soon turned do dismay though when I was forced to see Jason Segel naked with his penis floppin all around.....which unfortunitely, was not the last time.  There was a lot of nudity from him even after the puppet show and though I realize he must be incredibly comfortable with his body, I on the other hand am not......comfortable with his body.  Also there was this guy who was the "new boyfriend" only he was just really really horrid looking and also chunky and got very annoying even though he provided me with the one or two laughs total that I had during the movie.  A few times I had the thought "Who would even do that?" in response to some of the ways the characters were handling the various situations that were proposed. I'm not supposed to be asking myself that......its a fictional movie and I should be readily accepting all the outrageous hijinks that ensued, but somehow I just could not involve myself enough in it to even believe any of it.  I feel like a few things were skipped over that maybe should have been explained, and sometimes the events in the storyline weren't even cohesive. That bugs me.

After finishing it and being completely unimpressed, I happened upon the start of the credits where it said: Written by Jason Segel.
.....he wrote it himself.
That explains the huge amounts of unecessary nudity(really I could have gone my whole life without the penis flapping section...it was very Bruno), and the ending, which I felt was sub par at best....A puppet show?

Why Jason??? Why do you want to give me this to watch and then tell me you wrote it?  Its like when you're close with someone and they have a talent that they feel like they're awesome at and you know that in reality, they are very far from that awesome. You just don't bring it up and hope that they dont go overboard with it and start sharing their less than amazing talents with people who are only too happy to set them straight.
Anyhow, I'm gonna have to give a big Hmmm No to this movie as it kind of reminded me of plain yogurt...dull, lacking, and unremarkable with a bad after taste.

A puppet show? Really??

Conflict

I feel conflicted...
It is for that reason, I did not write this post until today...which is technically tomorrow, but for me now is yesterday.

I don't know what to do
I don't know how to act
I don't know....anything, in fact
Its a struggle right now to keep it together

People are starting to notice
The part of that I dislike the most is that they will assume that I am unhappy with what I'm doing
...I love what I'm doing....all of this would be far worse if I were still trapped elsewhere getting in trouble for breathing on the wrong counts

The other part is the comments
No, I had no clue I wasn't smiling, thank you soo much for telling me
....I shouldn't have written that....my sarcasm is having a field day with my conflictedness
Probably I shouldn't have written any of this

I'm gonna be done for now

Rain

Rain is the root of all evil....really it is.  Rain cancels plans and complicates things. Rain causes you to not be able to pick up that couch from that chick even though you went to all that trouble to get a truck. Rain is often times responsible for the demise of such things as:

• Weddings
• Parties
• Fantasmics
• Barbecues
• Golf
• Skydiving
• Picnics
• The Beach
• Concerts
• Running

These are just some of the things that are cancelled by rain and we all know this is just a sample of the hundreds of outdoor activities that are ruined, delayed, or botched all on the account of rain. To be completely fair, here are some things that most of us don't mind when rain comes to play:

• Lawn care
• EMH shifts

As you can see, this list is much shorter. Thank you for your time

Neither here nor there

Have you ever thought to yourself  "Maybe I should just get out of here....leave town or something?"

What are you supposed to do after that? I mean, what's the thought you have after saying that to yourself that makes you just not think about it anymore?

I can't remember...

It was so long ago that I left here and went there....so long I almost can't even drudge up the few fleeting recolections of why I had wanted to leave.  Perhaps it was my parents being strict or the thought of feeling stuck traveling down the obligatory road that seemed to be laid out for me. Maybe it was the thought of fresh faces and different outlooks. Ha maybe it was the girl to guy ratio at the University I was looking at or the music program highlights. Whatever it was, it was far more appealing than here.

I can't say that I don't like it here, on the contrary, I love it. There are a bunch of options as far as activities and opportunities. The catch is, most of these opportunites require a car and/or money to decently enjoy. We won't go into much detail there since money and I are fighting just now. In any case, most of the reason I returned from there was because I missed here so badly. Years had gone by...people...cars...girlfriends...classes...jobs...apparel...hair styles...life. Yet as content as I felt about all that had transpired, I still missed being here. More than just family and friends and social connections and people that could drive decently and 4 cents less on the dollar of sales tax, I missed how I felt being here.  I missed how nice it felt to walk outside and know that more than likely it would be warm outside...seeing the sun shine(and then burn all the moisture out of your body) and things grow(and occasionally get burned up in a pittiable mess) and knowing that it was going to be exactly like this for at least 8 months out of the year. In some ways I missed not having to be soo responsible. There, I had to keep track of literally everything because I didnt have anyone nearby to help me if things went wrong. Added to that, I was in quite an assortment of leadership positions throughout those years and it was beginning to become a lot to bear....I needed a break. Eventually, of course, responsibility will find you whether you've made yourself ready ro not and though I was prepared for it, I knew I had just a bit longer before it was fully mine to carry.

Situations started to rise and there was tension at work....tension with my friends...roommates, everything. All I wanted to do was just come home.  Not that there would never be drama at home or that I wouldn't ever have work drama, but all of that is much simpler to deal with on your own playing field. When you're the home team, you get the advantage of knowing the ins and outs of the game board and what shortcuts to take. Handling situations becomes much easier when you have family and friends nearby and the assuredness of I-4 traffic in the morning. A lot of times I miss some of the good times I had there, but sometimes it takes going away for a while to realize just what home means to you. I didn't even realize I had started typing "home" instead of "here"....I guess they are pretty close to the same thing for me.

I remember now...

All that time there made me realize that here....home is where I belong.

35 seconds

I didn't tell her

No one knew

I was driving...not even next to another person

A simple text

Status update, really

Just 35 seconds

RING

"You're awesome" I tell her

"Hi....I know" she laughs

She must have me on stalk

I'm ok with that

Its a nice feeling to feel

I strive for that kind of response time
Not perfected, but decent progress
My heart is there at least
Post-parade asthma attacks
Dehydrated alpha unit calls
Second show stop pass-outs
Steamboat weezing
Whether friend or foe
Current or ex
Someone should be there

4am

I can see the moon from my window...its almost as bright as my computer screen. I can't quite tell if its full or not, but it looks that way. I really don't feel like looking it up.

It makes me think of you...