Curiosity killed the mood

"hmm I didn't know she was on here too....oh. 2 blogs? Oh cool well I kinda wanna see what she writes about. Probably I shouldn't though cause....well I dunno. Maybe I'll just take a glance..."

CLICK
..........wowwww

Did I ask you to leave him for me? DID I?
I didn't....in fact I told you that I would not be the rebound or the way out. I told you that right on that bench in front of the Virgin Megastore the night we ran into your roommate's parents.
I told you I was not perfect. I told you it was very possible that I would break your heart.

Do you know how hard it is to have everything you do, slanted and exaggerated and then reported to someone else? Do you know what its like to have everyone on your case all the time about things that are far from their own business? Do you know what its like to try and try and hope that someone you care about will just find the silver lining of the clouds for themselves even just once?

If you do, then you should have understood.
If you don't, then you should have kept your mouth shut.

The relationships and friendships that you ruined mirror the ones I gave up. You forget that there is no "friend prenup" and I didn't get to keep anyone. In addition, there was the sacrifice of my own best friendship to appease your jealousy. Who pressed you to go to the auditions when you mentioned them? Who urged you to go to the dance classes? Who helped you with the money stuff and budgeting and occasional bill? Who told you to stand up for yourself when he wanted to push you around? Who was ready to fight for you right then and there in that parking lot?
Did the vacuum come running everytime you finished parade unable to breath? Did he support your dreams and encourage new ones? Did he try to make you laugh so you wouldn't stress about the little things? Did he present you with logical solutions when things weren't so great?
I can assure you that I am not listing these things for self-exhortation. I just want to make sure that if you're going to say that I was/am selfish, that you remember ALL of the facts....not just the ones that support your contentions.

While we're there, I would love to hear about the time when I pushed you to make bad choices, you know....while I was "in your head"

There was no way I was going to let them bring up the wedding. I don't like to sit idly by and wait for tension to be brought to my doorstep while I might be still trying to compose myself.......so I stepped up and said it myself to show them that it was fine and that I was ok, because whether or not I was actually ok, it is only my place to present myself that way. If you had asked me about it, I would have told you that because I am not ashamed of it.  I AM happy for you and I have always BEEN happy for you. I have been silent all this time because I have wanted nothing more than to see you grow and be a strong woman and depend on yourself and find your own happiness....but if the opposite is what you still believe then that is all the proof that I don't always get my way.