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Sometimes you just want to cry...

I feel like thats a normal sort of feeling. Something everyone can easily relate to. As much as I hate to admit it(like, really hate), I occasionally get those awful knots in my stomach and the lengthening of my breath while the corners of my mouth tighten and the tingling starts in the front of my face from the energy that has been sent to my tear ducts causing them to start the moisture production process that I dread more than a lot of other unpleasant experiences combined. They are not a common thing by any means...I can usually count the number of times, annually, on just one hand...but still I feel like that's even a few too many. There are a lot of things I can bear and ton of circumstances that can be handled with that calculated sort of temperament I have honed for many years, but every wall has its crack...every hull its stress point. Some are consistent, situational, impact dependent, or just a general build up, but at some point it happens to all of us.

I actually almost cried tonight during a movie.  There was a scene that for some reason just welled up a lot of unnecessary emotions inside that were just soo intense that it was all I could do not to start drippin all over the place.  I say "for some reason" with just a little slyness because its not really an unknown reason or even an invalid one...its just my reason and that will have to be reason enough for you.

It was dumb(it really wasn't) and I feel a little silly(I probably should've just let it out) about it anyhow. There really was no general basis(I had every reason to cry right then and there) for me to even be having such a time, but now that I think about it...it seems like less and less of a big deal(it was a pretty big deal) and more of just a laughable whim that will be easily forgotten(that is a complete lie right there). Really though, it's been a great year and I have soo much going that it almost feels like there's not even time to think anything but good thoughts(more lies) and continually look forward to even more exciting things for next year. Learning to be more in touch with my emotions hasn't been as hard as I originally thought(B.S.) and its just nice to reach a place where I can find a little more balance in life and not be so concerned with the things that are not in my affectable reach(I don't know if you know this, but I can also fly).